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Author Topic: King of the hill  (Read 223864 times)

Steelfist

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Re: King of the hill
« Reply #1455 on: September 20, 2011, 09:15:21 AM »

How do you:

1. Reach it.

2. Kill me by breaking it.

My Hill.
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ArtDrake

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Re: King of the hill
« Reply #1456 on: September 20, 2011, 04:03:24 PM »

Basically, I delete all posts labeled "Steelfist." For some reason, everyone seems to spend a bit of time attacking a fortress in a parallel universe that doesn't exist. If you still see them, it's just the hallucinogenic cats you petted five hours ago kicking in.

My Hill, taken from Ert with a cattle prod of death.
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Steelfist

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Re: King of the hill
« Reply #1457 on: September 24, 2011, 03:25:35 AM »

I change my name slightly to validate this post, along with all previous, and proceed to delete your account and ban you, as well as blocking your IP. Any further posts will be invalid, as will any edits, as you would be violating your ban.
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ArtDrake

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Re: King of the hill
« Reply #1458 on: September 25, 2011, 02:53:21 PM »

It's a good thing that I know how to change my I.P. address! And I can reconstruct an account very quickly. Sadly, I have to wrest the Hill from my former self.
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Ertxiem

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Re: King of the hill
« Reply #1459 on: September 25, 2011, 04:16:22 PM »

Ah! I disguise myself as a electric company employee and pretend that I have to do some maintenance. Instead, I just turn off the power, and take the opportunity to cut the internet cables (so, even if you were running a laptop with some batteries, it's bye bye internet). Unfortunately, the sudden cut of power created some errors in the hard-drives of your computers and, for now on, their only use is as paperweights. Ooops. Sorry about that.

I walk away and use a whistle to make a "duck call". Not being able to resist his curiosity, Duckling goes down the hill to see what's that sound. I quickly climb the hill from the other side and claim: my hill!
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Ert, the Dead Cow.
With 2 small Mandelbrot sets as the spots.

ArtDrake

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Re: King of the hill
« Reply #1460 on: September 25, 2011, 07:11:36 PM »

I tip the dead cow. My hill! (I hope your corpse didn't sustain too much damage)
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Steelfist

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Re: King of the hill
« Reply #1461 on: September 26, 2011, 11:21:29 AM »

I crush you with my mace. Job done. I claim the Hill (My Hill) and offer an alliance with the dead cow.
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Ertxiem

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Re: King of the hill
« Reply #1462 on: September 26, 2011, 03:04:29 PM »

I say:
Oooo! *I blush.* Are you offering me an alliance ring? I have no words.

You look puzzled. I take the opportunity to rear kick you in the bottom and you fly away downhill. Ooops. Sorry about that. My hill.

(I'm a mean dead cow. I wonder what the revenge will be. :P )

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Ert, the Dead Cow.
With 2 small Mandelbrot sets as the spots.

ArtDrake

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Re: King of the hill
« Reply #1463 on: September 26, 2011, 08:05:28 PM »

Tipping the cow worked well enough last time. *push*
My hill.
And now, I'm wearing a bit of armor with mace-stoppage power.
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Steelfist

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Re: King of the hill
« Reply #1464 on: September 27, 2011, 08:22:48 AM »

You forget the mace is both made of steel and wielded by a person with muscles literally made of steel.

So, y'know, I just do it again, despite the armor.

My Hill. I also modify my mace - it now has diamond tipped spikes.

Incidentally, I have released my steel veez with orders to track down the dead cow - who can't go far, as it is nursing a broken foot from kicking solid steel. It does so, I then capture and imprison the dead cow it a magically reinforced steel box, and then seal it for eternity and bury it on Yuggoth. Have fun.
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Steel Ersatz Man

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Re: King of the hill
« Reply #1465 on: September 27, 2011, 12:24:44 PM »

I, once again join the steel alliance. So, that way, I at least have SOME control over the hill.
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We are the steel alliance. None shall take our hill!

Zackirus

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Re: King of the hill
« Reply #1466 on: September 27, 2011, 04:52:04 PM »

I walk up behind Steelfist and pour a vat of boiling magma on him. It is so hot that it melts his steel form into its base components, iron and carbon. Once you are completely separated, I take some AuNo3 and combine it with your iron creating Fe(No3)3 (and I get some gold too!). I then then seal you (Fe(No3)3Fist) in some platinum casing and send it into a black hole. I then take your carbon and combine with another carbon, one oxygen, and 6 hydrogens to create Ethanol (C2H6O), and then take my alcohol and give it to some random hobo, and then send the hobo into the another blackhole. What know Fe(No3)3/C2H6OFist?

As for Erstaz man, I simply tell him that I started up the RTD again, he rushes to his computer and I take the hill back to Canada. Where I don't guard it at all, and enjoy some maple syrup. Anyone wanna join, stop the fight, and have a collective ownership of the hill?
« Last Edit: September 27, 2011, 04:57:03 PM by Zackirus »
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If The World Was A Bit More Like Canada, Then We Would Have A Great World, And Hockey 24/7

- Lord Canada

Ertxiem

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Re: King of the hill
« Reply #1467 on: September 27, 2011, 05:17:16 PM »

I make an anonymous telephone call to the police that you stole some nobelium (No) and I present a printed version of your post as evidence. You get arrested. I take the opportunity to tell the police that you think you took a hill to Canada. Obviously, they think you're crazy. It will take a while for you to get rid from jail and/or from a mental institution.

After that, I calmly climb the hill and claim: My hill.
While I'm on top, I try not to fall asleep so that I can resist being tipped downhill. :P One of the things I think about, while I'm awake and nursing my broken foot, is how on Earth did that weird chemical reaction worked with Nobelium instead of Gold Nitrate (AuNO3).

In case you're wondering how did I got out of my magically reinforced steel box that was sent to Yuggoth, it's quite simple. Steelfist just forgot to put the correct stamp on it. So, inside the post office, they decided to open the box to check its contents. The customs at Yuggoth refused to receive a dead cow and I was sent back to Earth. Since I wasn't claimed by Steelfist they threw the (already) open box away. When nobody was looking, I simply went away.
« Last Edit: September 27, 2011, 05:22:39 PM by Ertxiem »
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Ert, the Dead Cow.
With 2 small Mandelbrot sets as the spots.

Zackirus

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Re: King of the hill
« Reply #1468 on: September 27, 2011, 05:38:18 PM »

Thankfully, due to Canada's Medical System and Legal system, I get an appeal and successfully win. After a few days at the medical ward, I am released soon after. I track down and you and the hill and bring you back alive, through uses of black magic. I then precede to drown you in maple syrup, killing you once again. I then take your dead body and throw it into a meat grinder. I then make hamburgers and proceed to feed several families in a multiple of countries. I then poison them and cremate them. I take the ashes and spread them across a different universe. Satisfied. I take the hill back to Canada, and make a claim for it.

Now. My Hill.

Also: Stupid Phone, autocorrecting my sentences '-_-
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If The World Was A Bit More Like Canada, Then We Would Have A Great World, And Hockey 24/7

- Lord Canada

Idozen Cair

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Re: King of the hill
« Reply #1469 on: September 28, 2011, 02:36:14 AM »

I go to your hill, then use an M9 to shoot you in the head, killing you. I burn your body into ashes then dispose of it. I claim the Hill that is still in Canada, and I set up burning Netherrack all around the Hill for defense.

My Hill!
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I doesn't care, do I?
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