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The Strange Traveller

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Zackirus:
I made the quest easier and added/removed a few lines. I added this big piece though, it will tell the player a bit more about Traten and Alexander.

1. (Alexander is tapping his foot against the ground; obviously he is anxious to go on the mission. He looks up at your approach) Are we going now, I canít wait any longer.
a. Yes it is time to go, get ready [Exits Conversation] [Sends to Battle 1.C]
b. Hold your horses, we will go soon [Sends to 2]
c. Actually, I wanted to know more about you and Traten [Sends to 3]

2. We better! (he turns away and continues to tap his foot)
a. [Exits Conversation]

3. Oh! (he seems taken back) What would you like to know?
a. Tell me about yourself [Sends to 4]
b. Tell me about Traten [Sends to 8]
c. Do you know anything about the war we had [Sends to 10]
d. Never Mind [Exits Conversation]

4. Well, I was born in the city of Troten, but I grew up in the country. I grew up an only child. My dad was a wine maker, who had over the years, became the mayor of the town we lived in. My mom was an expert hunter, she has taught me to use my crossbow. (He holds out a dark-wood crossbow like you have never seen, it is compact and it has a lot of curves and much more advanced than crossbows you have seen here. The bolt is wicked sharp and almost looks like it could pierce threw two people). This crossbow has saved me a couple times throughout my life. When I was of age, 15 years old, I left my parents house and bought my own in the same town. However, I didnít have many good opportunities for jobs, so I worked for my father as overseer of delivery. I went with my fatherís men, all trained guards, around the surrounding area to deliver wine.  
a. How did you get here? [Sends to 5]
b. What have you had to use the crossbow against? [Sends to 6]
c. I still have more questions [Sends to 3]
d. Thanks for sharing [Exits Conversation]

5. Well around 1 month ago, I was on my fatherís boat from another delivery when a bad storm hit. The winds shook the sea and it nearly toppled the boat. I had to use most of my powers to keep the boat from tipping. However, I was so distracted in the task, that the wind blew me off the boat and into the sea. I woke up along the shores of Ravinale and have been trying to collect money for a boat ever since. A couple days ago, I simple gave up as I would never find enough money to get me back home.
a. I still have more questions [Sends to 3]
b. Thanks for sharing [Exits Conversation]

6. Pirates. There are a lot of them in the Traten area. They usually like to prey on smaller ships, like my fathers, that is why my father has had to hire trained guards to protect his shipments. Pirates usually attack the ship around once every two weeks. (he smiles) Too bad the crew is usually motivated by their captain, and if you put a bolt through his head, they usually stop attacking.  It has also helped me when I was around 17. See, I had gone hunting for some food one day as I wasnít able to make enough money to feed myself that week when I was attacked by a bunch of Snowears. The battle was tough, but I won in the end, and a couple of them got me (he lifts his cloak to show a number of scars in the shape bite marks on his chest). I was in the medics for almost a week, good thing Snowearís meat is tasty.
a. Snowears? [Sends to 7]
b. I still have more questions [Sends to 3]
c. Thanks for sharing [Exits Conversation]

7. They are a type of bear, usually around 1 Meter high and they stand up-right. They have snow white fur which makes them hard to spot in the snow. They have a nasty bite and they can use cryo attacks which makes them twice as deadly. They are really quick too, it was almost impossible to hit one with light blast or a crossbow bolt.
a. I still have more questions [Sends to 3]
b. Thanks for sharing [Exits Conversation]

8. Well, it more northern than Cera Bella and a lot colder too. It has high hills and has huge pieces of rock coming from the ground. The area has a lot of pines trees as well as special kind on plant that grows in Traten. It grows during the winter and it is almost like a grape, it makes better wine too! Traten also has a huge supply of fresh water. It is quite a big area but most people live in the south where it is not that cold during the winter. With regards with the people who live there, we are a civilised bunch that has our own customs and beliefs. We all follow a leader who is chosen by the people. Our current leader wants us to contact with other countries are our fishers are starting to slow around the coastal area. Oh, I didnít tell you about that, we have a huge fishing industry but we are noticing now, that the fish are getting fewer and fewer each year. As with technology, I would say we are maybe 5 years ahead of the current technology I have seen in Cera Bella. All and all, it is a great place to live and you should come visit one day.

a. Customs and Beliefs? [Sends to 9]
b. I still have more questions [Sends to 3]
c. Thanks for sharing [Exits Conversation]

9. We follow a God called Sorther. He is a magician that has Psy Powers so great that he was able to channel his power into a powerful wand. With this wand he was able to create everything. He accepts everything in the world because he has given us the right to choose. The only thing we may not do is use his name for ill causes. Tratenites are extremely superitous about Sorther after around 20 years ago we found a couple of tablets that perhaps were created by him. His symbol is (he pulls out his small necklace) a wand with a star on top. The wand represents our power and the star represents Sorther effect on us. Are customs are that one reaches of age are 15 and moves out from his parents house. We belief that one must spend time in isolation in the mountains when they do wrong in our country: they either die, or come back changed. It is quite effective.
a. I still have more questions [Sends to 3]
b. Thanks for sharing [Exits Conversation]

10. That war? Well, we have a more complete version than ours and it was not all our fault. See what happened was a military cruiser from our country landed on one of the shores of Cera Bella around 6-7 years ago. They went out explore and found a town. The residents werenít the friendless of bunch and they didnít like that we had our flag out. They attacked us and we lost a lot of men. We were shocked by this and we soon fled back to Traten to suggest military support. We returned and started to attack Cera Bella. The first battles were victories and their seemed like nothing could stop us. During this time, my Father who was drafted, had found a cool object in one of the abandoned houses. I have seen nothing like it before. However, a rival political member took this chance to try to take out government, so our army was quickly recalled. By the time we had sorted out the problem, we had a lot of less troops and had forgotten about the Cera Bella encounter. We have had times where we have thought about invading again but, since we donít want the same thing to happen again, we donít want to attack you again.
a. What object was that? [Sends to 11]
b. I still have more questions [Sends to 3]
c. Thanks for sharing [Exits Conversation]

11. Oh, that object. I call it my charm, my Father gave it to me after he had returned from the war. It is a small object that lets the holder of it float above the ground. Itís really cool, and I just wish I could have it right now, as I would simply float over the water and go back to Traten.
a. I still have more questions [Sends to 3]
b. Thanks for sharing [Exits Conversation]

MikeW781:
9.He accepts everything in the world because he has given Us the right to choose.

Thats the only mistake i found. I like the new dialogue!

Steelfist:
I like it. Maybe try to reduce the dialogue complexity slightly, and reduce the number of ways that you can never speak to him again; he doesn't have to leave the area permanently, or even temporarily. Maybe make Duvalier realise what Traten is as soon as he spots the word in the guy's mind.

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