I think bracketed actions should be changed, honestly. Even if you're planning to incorporate sprite work in their place later on, the demo is THE first thing the potential Kickstarter investor will base their opinions on, so the placeholder needs to be adequate enough for them to not be disturbed by.
For example, in the first battle, instead of:
[Grant, the platoon's cryokineticist, leans into the room.]
Have Grant's character spawn on the map.
Instead of:
[She touches her fingers to her forehead, eyes closed in concentration. After a moment, she speaks.]
...no. We will retake the weapons depot ourselves.
[She smiles.] Let us see what stuff you are made of, Emma Strider!
Have the box say:
Hm... No. We will retake the weapons depot ourselves.
(Next box)
Heh. Let's see what stuff you're made of, Emma Strider!
The "Hm..." is all you need for contemplation, and the "Heh.", for a smile.
Second qualm: can you program the map such that when the mouse pointer goes to the edge, the map moves with it?
Third qualm: you need to link the current manual to the Kickstarter page, placed right before the demo!
For example, in the first battle, instead of:
[Grant, the platoon's cryokineticist, leans into the room.]
Have Grant's character spawn on the map.
Instead of:
[She touches her fingers to her forehead, eyes closed in concentration. After a moment, she speaks.]
...no. We will retake the weapons depot ourselves.
[She smiles.] Let us see what stuff you are made of, Emma Strider!
Have the box say:
Hm... No. We will retake the weapons depot ourselves.
(Next box)
Heh. Let's see what stuff you're made of, Emma Strider!
The "Hm..." is all you need for contemplation, and the "Heh.", for a smile.
Second qualm: can you program the map such that when the mouse pointer goes to the edge, the map moves with it?
Third qualm: you need to link the current manual to the Kickstarter page, placed right before the demo!