A War Story

[ArtDrake]

You are given a selection of genres of music, including jazz, classical, swing, classic rock, and Star Wars.

[bugfartboy]

Play classical music

[ArtDrake]

The interface selects Beethoven's Seventh Symphony at random.

A reminder pops up on the interface: "Altitude: 2800 feet. Ground level: 2000 feet. Crash imminent." There's a little triangular warning sign on the screen. The clicking and pounding has gotten louder, and the doors are rattling a little.

[bugfartboy]

Walk back through portal.

Listen to the music.

[ArtDrake]

You walk back into your bedroom to listen to your music, and the pounding has gotten much louder. The doors are creaking. Another reminder shows up: "Altitude: 2300 feet. Ground level: 2000 feet. Prepare for impact."

[bugfartboy]

Wait for impact.

[ArtDrake]

After an agonizing moment of silence, a crash comes from the portal. Metal flies into your room, crushing your shelves. The hydrogen in the balloon above the aircraft's cockpit ignites, and a fireball comes roaring out of the portal, engulfing you and your room, and proceeding to burn down your house. You have died. You could have had such a lovely adventure, too. If only you could try again.

LETHAL ENCOUNTER -- REBOOT ADVENTURE... LOADING FROM 17:01 GMT-5... EXTRACTING FILES...

*****

A calm, feminine voice says, "The in-ship guidance system uses your unique circumstances to generate relevant guidance for you. In this instance, due to your rapid loss of altitude, the information presented is on how to increase elevation.

Step one: pull the joystick towards you to increase the attitude of the aircraft.

Step two: if the aircraft does not start to increase its altitude immediately, release ballast to lighten the aircraft using the relevant controls. For more information, seek guidance on releasing ballast.

The altitude of the ship is currently at 3600 feet. Ground level is 2000 feet." The voice stops.

[bugfartboy]

Play music

[ArtDrake]

No.

[bugfartboy]

Say yes

[ArtDrake]

Absolutely not.

[bugfartboy]

Argue with self

[ArtDrake]

You know, I'm going to ask Ert to delete these posts, since they're not contributing to the game.

[bugfartboy]

But they are. I was going to ask for Star Wars this time, then run into the other portal.

[ArtDrake]

First of all, I don't want you to do that, and second of all, shrapnel and residual explosion stuff would fly through the portal in a bit, not directly killing you, but attracting a passing guard's attention and generally leading you to getting speared in the abdomen. Follow the plot a bit, please.