Corrupt a Wish Foundation

[bugfartboy]

Granted. But it sucks in your homework.

I wish I had a birthday tree for a very good friend of mine.

[ArtDrake]

Granted. But the birthday tree attempts to eat his or her pet(s) (or lack thereof).

I wish for tickets to be able to go see a tree attempt to eat a lack of a pet.

[Steelfist]

Wish granted. You get tickets: By BUYING them! You go, and you see a tree eat lack of pet; you see nothing happen. You just wasted a lot of money, y'know.

I wish for the tree to eat Duckling.

[ArtDrake]

Granted. It sprays a weak acid on me, attempting to digest me (plants tend to digest externally), and I go and rinse the acid off. Way to ruin my clothes.

I wish that Steelfist would stop being so mean.

[Steelfist]

Wish granted. Now Steelfist no longer exists; only 'Steel-Hand Open in a Gesture of Friendly Greeting' exists. Way to ruin my name (And personality). For the record, I am not going to stop being mean.

I wish for Duckling to swallow a swamp-dragon.

[ArtDrake]

Granted. I get the swamp dragon in my laser sights, aim carefully, and fire a sticky projectile of birseed. Instantly, my trained horde of swallows descends upon the dragon. It has been swallowed.

I wish for a Take-A-Wish foundation.

[bugfartboy]

Granted. But they take yours before it can be granted and corrupted.

I wish for a better speech.

[ArtDrake]

Granted. You get the Gettysburg Address.

I wish for a zeppelin.

[Steelfist]

Wish granted. Living skeletons board it and kill you. You knew exactly what was going to happen when you wished that.

I wish for Duckling to swallow, eat, consume and generally ingest a whole swamp dragon.

[Ertxiem]

Wish granted. Duckling eats a cookie with the 3D shape of a swamp dragon. However, it's a tiny cookie and he's still hungry.

I wish I had a better idea than a cookie.

[ArtDrake]

Granted. You have the idea of creating world peace. Now, to implement it...

I wish for skellie-proof armor.

[bugfartboy]

Granted. But it's not bullet proof. So I'll just aim at the heart, adjust for wind resistance...

I wish for happier thoughts.

[ArtDrake]

Nyan!

I wish for a cat that said nyan. Oh, wait; all cats say "nyan", according to the Japanese.

[Steelfist]

You go to Japan, and visit the equivalent of the 'crazy cat lady' to get a nyan-ing cat. Upon rediscovering the joys of human company, the woman captures you and locks you in her basement with yet more cats, frequently visiting you to talk about cats, while stroking a cat and sounding moderately like a cat. After a few days of this, you are located and freed. But you never recover, and you never utter any words but 'Cat', 'Nyan' and 'Help'.

I wish to possess a phantom Nyan-cat, which I can set on a person to drive them utterly insane by ceaselessly following them around, Nyanning.

[ArtDrake]

Granted. The person is a teenager with advanced hearing loss from listening to Nyan cat too loudly on YouTube, so they barely hear it.

I wish for some ominous latin chanting.