Park bench

[Mopman]

I throw a bag of dog poop at your face. You faint from the smell.

[bugfartboy]

Then an ice-cream cart comes alongside you and your fainted body is trampled by eager rushing little children.

[ArtDrake]

I ignore the incivility, as neither keeping people down, nor alliances are the point of the game. I couldn't have fainted from the smell, and I sit on little children with some regularity.

Then, I put you in a full nelson until you leave the bench. You are completely free to come back to the bench and rid the bench of me, but be fully prepared or me to come bakc next post. Such is the way of Park Bench. And there's only room for one on the bench.

[bugfartboy]

nor alliances are the point of the game.

Yet they are not against the rules as long as they don't grow beyond 3 people.

And there's only room for one on the bench.

At what point was this put into the rules?

I ignore your partial bending of the rules and grab my tazer, stun you with a very high voltage and kick you off the bench and sit down, while you lay there drooling on the nice sidewalk.

[ArtDrake]

• I don't drool.
• I didn't bend the rules. Show me exactly how I bent the rules.
• I dictated that the bench must be so, in the exact same way that you have dicatated that it is perfectly okay, in your worldview, to punch innocent ducks that cross your path.
• Just because something is not against the rules doesn't mean it should be so. Ripping people off based on their lack of experience in Monopoly is fun, and there is nothing in the rules against it, but it does not hold up to my moral code.
• You have a tazer?

• The object is to make the previous person leave the bench, simply type your actions and words, then the next person repels you or lures you away. If the influence is too weak to leave say so but leave most of the time

  . The term "influence" suggests that the action "repel"ling or "lur"ing you away should be a nonviolent one, where a person occupying the bench has a strong incentive to leave of their own accord. Man of the Mop got it close with the dog poo.

[bugfartboy]

Yes I have a tazer. Yes you were bending the rules by stating that the bench only seats one person.

In the confusion, you forget about the bench and go home feeling like a jerk.

[ArtDrake]

No, actually, there is no home in the Park Bench universe.

No, I do not feel like a jerk.

No, I was not bending the rules. Please explain exactly which rule I was bending. I do not understand how you believe it is not bending the rules to simply dictate the actions of others in place of giving them reasonable incentive to leave of their own accord, whereas it is, to temporarily dictate that the bench is a bit smaller than ususal, for the sake of discouraging alliances, which are not the point of the game.

[bugfartboy]

While you are making long explanations, we "accidentally" knock you off the bench and expand the size of the bench. We sit down and make sure that there is no room for more people to sit.

[ArtDrake]

Again, you have completely and utterly failed to reach the point of the game. This game is about creativity, and not simply brute force. If it were, I would easily beat the snot out of your wimpy pushes, shoves, tazes, punches, and tramplings with an AK-47. But as brute force is not the point, I chose simply to flirt at you until you feel sufficiently awkward to leave. No, seriously, this makes 95% of people feel awkward, and 60% of the 5% that don't feel awkward are gay. Not being homophobic at all, and I am simply reporting honest statistics, and trying to make you feel awkward. If you consider this a long explanation, I would say you have an extremely short attention span, and that you are not suited to this kind of game, which, contrary to your obvious opinion, is NOT KING OF THE HILL.

I am currently sitting on the bench, and do not have control over it, as no one really has control over a park bench, and am simply sitting here until someone gives me incentive to leave this bench OF MY OWN ACCORD. Has that gotten through your braincase?

[bugfartboy]

Yep. I shoot at you with my slingshot while blowing my kazoo in your ear.

[ArtDrake]

Brilliant!! Outstanding!! Marvelous!! Spectacular!! You didn't dicatate my movement, and it's only slightly violent, but in the permissable range, and you've given me enough incentive to leave!! That deserves an A+!! That is exactly what I am looking for!!!!!!

But now I'm going to have to one-up you with a vuvuzela. And if you don't know what it is, please look it up, as it's worth knowing. If you do, all the better for you.

VUVUZELA TIME!!!

[bugfartboy]

I accidentally sit on your horn shaped instrument. Sorry. And I'm half deaf today. Sinus pressure is blocking my eardrums. I pass gas very loudly.

[ArtDrake]

Hmm. I try to implicitly convert you to primitive data type

Code Select Expand

int at runtime.

[bugfartboy]

It doesn't affect me. I am not a robot. Error error error error error error error error error...

I bring my dog and have her breathe on you. Hehe. But I have noseplugs.

[ArtDrake]

I'm not even in possession of the bench! What good can that accomplish? And... just ewrrrgghhh!

I set up a forcefield around the bench, cutting off fresh air supply. Whenever you feel the need to leave, go right ahead.