Conversation stoppers

[The Holy namelesskitty]

You have one line to silence a room, do your best.

We'll start out with a scenario (wedding, child's birthday party etc.) and the next poster stops the conversation and gives a new scenario.

EXAMPLE:

negotiating with the mob

Smartyfarts-

Godfather, I hardly know you screw you and you're whole operation.

Son/daughter saves your life.

Moesiris-

What a wonderful accident you ended up as.

Wedding

Not example anymore.

Scenario: late for wedding.

[Steelfist]

You know, I'm the father, not him. *Point to the groom*

You are a hostage of a group of heavily armed bank robbers. Police surround the bank.

Correct?

[ArtDrake]

Did I tell you guys that I'm in the SAS? And that, right now, I'm waiting for a reason not to kill all of you without even coming near you?

Situation: Been playing Halon 6:PkIR (it's a bit like Halo) for nine hours straight, multiplayer with your friend next door.

[The Holy namelesskitty]

Hey there's this cheat code that got like fifty people banned for life. Wanna see it?

Situation: charity fair.