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[Duskling]

Granted, you were human at heart... really you are a giant mutant zombie thing that everyone misunderstands.

I wish that I could be 1,000 times more clever than I already am.

[bugfartboy]

Granted, you think you're clever. And in stupidity you walk up to Obama to convince him to make you king and get killed.

I wish that I had ANOTHER wish that I acually used.

[Duskling]

Granted, but acually is not a word. No wishy granty for you!

I wish to be dictator of the world.

[bugfartboy]

Granted. You are dictator of the world for 3.2 seconds before being assasinated.

I wish for yet another wish that was uncoruptable.

[Duskling]

Granted, but a) You spelled "uncorruptable" wrong, and b) You can't wish for an uncorruptable wish.

I wish for brownies... that weren't made of doo.

[bugfartboy]

Granted. They were made of don't. (See what I did there?)

I wish that I nwe ohw to sepll tings rite.

[The Holy namelesskitty]

Granted, you spell tings rite, as tings rite.

I wish that I knew what to wish for.

[Duskling]

Granted, I advise you to wish for an anvil to fall on your head.

I wish for tube socks.

[The Holy namelesskitty]

Granted they bexome man- eating sock puppets and eat you, yes they do that.

I wish to be tazered

[bugfartboy]

Granted. But you enjoy it.

I wish I had a puppy.

[The Holy namelesskitty]

Granted, I scratch its face.

I wish for somebody to post in my new game.

[bugfartboy]

Granted. It's your psychopathic imaginary friend who decided to eat your face while you sleep. Then I kill it.

I wish I enjoyed life without harm coming to me or anyone else.

[Duskling]

Granted, you had a friend named "anyone else," so everyone else has to suffer while you enjoy life, well done.

I wish for cakes.

[bugfartboy]

Granted. 20 tons worth of cakes bury you.
I didn't capitalize the words "anyone else" so it doesn't count as a name.
I wish the dog I currently own wasn't so fat.

[Duskling]

Granted, it was even fatter >:)

Yes, you didn't capitalize it, but how do you know his/her parents didn't want him/her to have a more special name?

I wish for a faster computer.