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Costumes

Granted, the amazingocity of your post is permanently displayed in a tattoo upon my right buttock. Having grown increasingly obsessed with your post I begin stalking you. Eventually in a clearly delusional state of mind decide that I deserve to have everyone you know killed, so that I might have you all to myself. After systematically picking off everyone you've ever cared about, I entrap you in a deep pit and force you to repeatedly corrupt my wishes. I feed you with a steady supply of soured milk, demanding that you turn it into a feasible energy source. In the last moments before delirium completely takes over your conscious mind, you regret having ever cared about what I think.

I wish I was the world's greatest rodeo clown.

-4 The country music duo Big & Rich sue you and the rest of the active forum members for copyright infringement. Despite this clearly being a frivolous and ridiculous lawsuit with no real chance of success, Big & Rich are Bigger and Richer than you and therefore will almost certainly win their case. You have single handedly destroyed this forum.

Scoring it up at 67

I reticulate my splines.

For Duskling:
Granted, your parakeet is now preparing for a sinister attack on your well-being. You will rue the day that you wished to remove its fear, because behind that fear is a scorching hate. It has memorized your daily schedule. It has been slowly listening to scary taunts in order to repeat them. It will start off small by waiting for you to fall asleep and make funny marks upon your face in permanent ink. Slowly but surely it will devise an elaborate plot that will destroy all that you hold dear. You shall soon come to understand it's fear, but by then it shall be too late!

For Rainen:
Granted, you now have the time back from making that epically long post, unfortunately you use this time to instead go get a cool glass of milk. It smells a bit sour, but your clearly demented mind (not the orphans! YOU SICK FREAK!) decides to ignore this threat. The slow and debilitating disease you somehow contract from this encounter ruins your life, but more importantly it deprives me of the satisfaction of reading your wish corruption.

I wish month old milk would turn into something useful instead of awful cheese-like substances.

Docile

Hmmm... how about a combination of this thread and the associations game thread? That would certainly add a bit of challenge and require the posters to think a bit more.

I  use my undead Stooges in order to infiltrate your lair. Having been poor at Math while alive, the newly zombified stooges care very little for your logical fallacies. Soon most of your forces have been zombified as well (since all zombies seem to have the almost magical ability to catch people in compromising situations, at least until there are so many of them that it doesn't matter anymore). I then use the large number of zombies in order to film a new music video of "Thriller". While you are distracted by this stunning piece of cinematography, I slowly sneak up  on you and kung fu chop you in the back of the neck, incapacitating you almost instantly. My hill.

-3 As with most new technologies, a way is found in order to adapt it into a weapon. Unfortunately this adaptation is first made by a scientist who is kidnapped a small extremist rebel faction going by the name OotTC (Order of the Technologically Challenged) that believes in freeing all people from the oppression of technology. Of course, most nations are not far behind in evening the odds, but by then the OotTC have managed to rapidly expand their power and influence. The war itself is ended fairly shortly and isn't quite so horrible as many other modern examples, but it does go down in history as "The Most Tragic Example of Irony Ever".

New Total: 70

I use my new found power of commanding marine mammals to attempt world conquest.

I use dark necromancy to control your corpsical form and use my UNHOLY POWER to command you to give me the hill. Also using UNHOLY POWER I raise the three stooges. Helpful in defense? No. But Zombie Curly is hilarious (Check his new stand up "uhhhhh.... brains....", instant classic). My hill.

I'm flattered by your speedy denouncement of the moral implications of defending an obviously guilty murderer, when in light of a speedy paycheck. Unfortunately my funds may not be quite enough to buy your services at the moment. I may or may not have lost a vast amount of money gambling in Reno. This also may or may not have something to due with the aforementioned murder.

Oh, I don't want to spoil it. ;)

Such a tease.

If I were to say, murder a man in Reno (very cleanly, I might add). Would you have the legal expertise to fight for my innocence in court? If so, what would it cost to hire you? The clocks ticking Mr. Stern. Time is a factor.

On a less serious (but coincidentally related) note, I don't suppose you would mind giving out any disturbingly vague details or enticingly cryptic clues about the trial scene you recently mentioned being in the game.

-2 Light God takes that as a personal attack against his character. Using his (presumably) ninja like skills (and years of dedication), he attempts to wire explosives to several key locations in the power infrastructure of most western nations. Fortunately, after years of planning, he puts the batteries into the detonator backwards and blows himself up (that IS what happens when you put batteries backwards in detonators, uh huh). He doesn't really cause that much damage, but the whole things is such a hassle.

78

I sing "Highway to Hell" at my local Karaoke Bar, despite past criticisms of being "tone deaf" or "having the voice of an angry walrus".

I just don't understand all the gif hate in general. What huge event has occurred that I am unaware of? Why must the local gif population be regulated like animals?!

Seriously, what happened?

Granted, but due to a long series of events that I cannot even begin to explain in the limitations of a simple post this causes all kisses to become evil, twisted, and deadly. Mothers killing their own infant children. Families are brutally torn apart. That doesn't even begin to cover cultures where kissing is simply a means of greeting or farewell. The death toll is in the hundreds of millions. You sick bas&(#d! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?

I wish that my seemingly simple wish to be given a coupon for a free ice cream cone could be corrupted in an epic way.

I don't want to discount the Cult too much. I really don't think it has the hold or the power that Im2smart4u implies, but he does bring up a good point in that they have managed to crush the Resistance in the past (thank you from the lovely quote from Craig to support your point, I indeed was forgetting a crucial piece of information). What really interests me (seeing as we have so little information to go on), is Craig's mention of a Trial Scene. This could imply that the new leader of the resistance is, at some point, caught. Of course, that's just a wild speculation (as much as any of the wild speculations we are all making at any given post in this topic), but if it were to turn out to be true, it would mean that the Cult holds a larger level of control over the area than I would presume. Of course there's always the large chance that the new MC isn't captured (or that he allows himself to be caught for some other insidious plan). Really there's just not enough information out there to make a real proper analysis on the strengths of each of the forces in play. Most of the information we use for such comparisons are based of assumption, presumption, or vague hinting and not from solid fact.

Still its always been my opinion that the largest threat from the cult will be the larger players. Its not their army you need to worry about. The General and the (presumably) rare but powerful Psy's in the Cult (not to mention the possibility of actually going up against a real god) are likely to be the primary concerns. After all this is an RPG universe. Everyone knows the General will be at least as strong as twelve men.

Serotonin

The forbidden endings are here because they lead to very limited choice of words already used (mostly words derived from "use").

That's the fault of the posters right there. A lack of creativity or effort. Limiting choice to avoid it hardly seems to be the proper way of handling things. But, that is merely my humble opinion and I will gladly prostrate myself before your superior intellect.