King of the hill

[bugfartboy]

I add to the protection of the Holy Vampire by creating a genetically engineered that gives him the strength of steel. I then arm him and pray to the mighty Craig to pull the hill to a place where it will never be stolen again. Our hill.

Strike the never be stolen. The only way to the special place is through a rip-warp in time space which is in the most secretly protected part of a castle run and gaurded by the Holy Vampire and his minions.

[ArtDrake]

Fortunately, I have a Jewish Paladin, whom Hell won't take because he's a Paladin, and Christian Heaven won't take because he's a Jew.
Absolutely no offense meant to Jews, it could be a Muslim Paladin, too. He goes in to the castle on a dire quest, but since he's unkillable, and he has mad fighting skills, he pwns the "minions", and exorcizes the Holy Vampire, unfortunately removing both souls in the process. The Holy Vampire, however, is shunned at the gates, and goes back to his body. Now my Holy Vampire and my Jewish Paladin go into the rip-stop nylon... I mean the rip-warp in spacetime, and butcher bugfartboy, and my Holy Vampire gets a court order signed for an injunction, so Steelfist can't go near the Hill. My Jewish Paladin claim the Hill in my stead, and takes the Hill back out of the weird spacetime rip, and placed back where it was.

My Hill.

[bugfartboy]

Instead of trying to care what was posted by Duckling, I call upon the power of Craig and claim the hill in some mysterious and unknown way. Our hill.

[ArtDrake]

I use l33t haxxor skills to take the Hill back in some unusual way, and block off your PMing, and change the javascript code of a page so Craig can't see anything you write in the future.

My Hill. No god-modding, whatever that is.

[bugfartboy]

I sue you for not knowing what god-modding is and take the hill. I then take out a multi-million dollar insurance policy in case the hill gets taken from me in any way.

[Cypher]

I put you to sleep with a tranquilizer dart and lock you in a titanium cage, being hanged over a lake of corrosive acid, deep underground within the Hill. I then... have the Hill in my control, but didn't take it, because your still on the Hill.

Our Hill. :P

[ArtDrake]

I assume you mean hung. You obviously forgot that the titanium bars are 1 foot apart, and I only have a 29 inch waist, thus I escape. You also forgot about my Holy Vampire and Jewish Paladin, and I recruited a Norse loser that thinks he's a hero. Odin won't accept him in Valhalla because he's not really a hero, but Hel won't accept him because he tends to die in battle.

Fortunately, there's a lake of ammonia nearby, and all my helpers pump one into the other, thus negating the effect of the acid. I swim out to shore, and go back up through the hole my servants came in through. I get my Norse Loser some therapy about those salt cravings, and then destroy you guys for a while, but claim you hired us to do this, and thus you don't get the payout on that insurance policy. My Norse Loser claims the hill in my stead. My Hill, guarded with a Holy Vampire, a Jewish Paladin, and a Norse Loser. Don't even think about it.

[Steelfist]

I recruit Sparhawk, who finds me Bhelliom (a gem with almost unlimited power), and the two rings required to control it. I Raise it, and disintegrate all three. Capturing their souls, I place them in an bottle (Which is enchanted too never break, and be able to contain and trap souls), which I place in a sealed titanium crate, which I place on the Hill, which I seal with the power of Bhelliom. I then put wards around the Hill to prevent anyone from entering. Anything I need I just create with Bhelliom, anything I want doing, I do with Bhelliom, so I have no need to let anyone in. My Hill.

[Cypher]

Is the Alliance still intact?

[Steelfist]

Yes, but you can't access the Hill, either.

[ArtDrake]

Cuss the god-modding. You don't realize you need an SAM defense system, so I launch the hill into the sky, and shoot it down with a missile. Bellhiom is shattered, and I temporarily raise some undead spirits for the occupation of the newly reintegrated bodies of the Holy Vampire, the Jewish Paladin, and the Loser Norseman. Then, the spirits free their host bodies' true souls by not breaking, but cutting a hole in, the glass. The souls fly out, and the Loser Norseman is fired, because he isn't useful. For now. I keep the Holy Vampire and the Jewish Paladin, who then claim the hill in my stead. My Hill.

P.S. Titatium crates aren't much good for keeping souls. They can slip out through the gaps in subatomic particles. I also melt down your bling, and make a cool sword with them, which I give to my Jewish Paladin.

[Steelfist]

As Bhelliom cannot be shattered (It has a conciousness, and will defend itself), I repeat the above steps. The bottle can now not be cut, smashed or damaged in any way. Nothing can enter a mile-wide radius around the Hill, and I expel everything, save the Hill, in a mile wide radius. My Hill.

[ArtDrake]

Bellhiom is now splattered shards of liquifracted gem spread over 5 square miles. Get over it, and please stop god-modding.

[Steelfist]

Incredible. Patronising hypocrisy. I might consider it annoying, if it weren't for King of the Hill not being worth getting worked up over. King of the Hill is meant to be god-modded. It's some fun. Not a competition. If I had continued this train of thought over roughly six pages (You know who who are), I could understand. As it is, you've been using an invincible holy vampire, that is resurrected every time you post, for quite some time. See my point? All you have to do is try to god-mod better. That's the fun.

[ArtDrake]

No, my holy vampire gets defeated every time, and I acknowledge it. You just shrug off the destruction of Bellhiom like it never happened. That's the difference. Anyway, I teleport a monkey soul into Bellhiom. You just can't get around that one. The monkey gem makes thousands of bananas, and stalks off. I don't think you get bellhiom back soon.

Anyway, I'm using one of the gem bananas' mystic powers to break the seal on the jar.

I put up a no-zombie zone, and get my Holy Vampire and my Jewish Paladin back, and set them to guard it again. Perfectly defeatable.