What would you do?

[bugfartboy]

Slap both the right and wrong person.
Would someone read my current story in progress? I'm getting anxious.

What would you do if I wasn't you?

[cyso]

Read your story in progress. It not bad.
What would you do if both your hands were amputated so you couldn't slap anyone?

[Duskling]

Kick everyone! :D

What would you do if you were ambushed by fluffy bunnies?

[bugfartboy]

Smack them.

What would you do if I ACCIDENTALY pushed im2smart4u off a cliff?

[ArtDrake]

Report you to the authorities on grounds of involuntary manslaughter.

What would you do if I hadn't come back?

[Duskling]

Be very sad that we lost another great forum goer.

What would you do if there was a $10,000 bounty on my head?

[ArtDrake]

Report that there was an illegal bounty placed on your head, and get the person who put it there arrested. The person who put the bounty there, not the person who put your head there.

What would you do if I went to sleep?

[bugfartboy]

Smack you.

What would you do if I was a Supreme bugboy with gastrointestinal problems?

[ArtDrake]

Tell you to go to the hospital.

What would you... zzz. (No touching me, or touching something that touches me, or in any way controlling or organizing something that might result in me getting smacked)

[bugfartboy]

I would slap you instead.

What would you do if I was a stalker?

[ArtDrake]

Is it just me, or is smacking people your solution to everything?

[bugfartboy]

Smack and slap!! Yep. When I'm too lazy to come up with a good answer anyway.

What would you do if I were to smack you?

[ArtDrake]

Catch your hand before it happened, and twist it behind your back. No, seriously. That's what I do to people who try things like that. Holy Nameless can testify.

What would you do if there was proof of God? (See, I'm not suggesting you being eaten by a Galapagos tortoise; they're herbivores)

[bugfartboy]

Rub it in, rub it in!

What would you do if I were a stalker.

[ArtDrake]

Get stalked, probably.

What would you do if disproven?