King of the hill

[Zackirus]

Technically, I have 2 Hills (seeing as those are the only parts that remain), and 1% of another Hill. I never claimed that 1% of a hill is a hill; I am just claiming that is it 1% of a hill. Also: my Hill(s) are in my garden, not in a big jar.

Ert: 99%
Zack: 1% (and 100% of Two Other Hills, that aren't the "hill")

[ArtDrake]

I brand the dead cow, and accidentally set him on fire. Whoops!

I weep over the charred remains, and claim the hill in honor of the dead cow that stopped being so lively here.

[Duskling]

Anyway, I extend an alliance offer / Opportunity to serve me to Duskling, both for old times sake and for that awesome pic.

I accept the offer.

[Steelfist]

Excellent - we have mostly reformed the Steel Cult - I mean SteelCo^Tm. *Coughs* Mudokon pops, anyone?

I now extend an invitation to Duckling to join the alliance.

[ArtDrake]

Alas, I have severe hesitations about joining an organization in which my interests are not represented; this, I think would be the case should I accept your offer. What, prithee, be the benefits of conglomerating DucKorp (the comany hath sprung up suddenly, but successfully) with thine SteelCo? Will my minions recieve healthcare and a dental plan? Will my henchwomen recieve maternity leave? Will there be pie?

[Steelfist]

If you joined, your company would retain it's autonomy to a large degree - becoming a sub-corporation of SteelCo, and you yourself being both CEO of your company and a member of the 'upper echelons' of SteelCo (Some people say it's like a cult; at the Executive level). Given the chiefly independent nature of the SteelCo Executive level members and the expectation that members will raise and manage their own 'contribution to the cause', this would partially be the case anyway.

So in answer to your questions, you would be managing your own affairs and contributing to our effort largely in your own way, except when I require the Executives to combine their efforts for a greater purpose.

And, given that you are the manager of a company, and possibly soon to be Executive of a very powerful organisation, I'm sure you can purchase pie yourself.

One note, other members of SteelCo - you are advised to consider how best to contribute to the struggle for the Hill, be it military manufacture, combat training or some form of research. Do what you can - and remember, I have the magical side of things mostly covered.

[Deagonx]

I build a new, smaller hill. And do raspberries at you and throw dirt.

[ArtDrake]

I believe I understand why SteelCo has such an ego.

I shall decline your gracious offer of joining SteelCo; no pie, no deal. And I have other reasons, too.

DucKorp, Inc. makes the decision to mine for Duckyrodium underneath Deagonx's hill, and reduces the hill to nothing in the process.

(Duckyrodium is element 136; it's an island of stability amongst highly radioactive atoms since it has a half-life of 5.5 trillion years. It's what DucKorp uses in its rather inspired machinations)

Fortunately, I seem to get my hands on some nice DkF₅, or Duckyrodium pentafluoride, which is highly acidic with a calculated pH of -73 (not actual; has no hydrogen ions), and store some of that in a container made of frozen xenon; then, I isolate the rest of the Duckyrodium and cool it down to 5 Kelvin for the manufacture of some superconDucktors.

[Duskling]

In that case, my battalion of men and I promptly begin to build a large barracks for ourselves and future recruits. We set up defenses on any and all SteelCo territory, and manufacture a dangerously addictive brew thanks to the brilliant minds of Steelfist himself and some of his higher ranking executives.

Oh yes, and our troops are disciplined and overall smart enough to stay off the brew.

[Deagonx]

I set up an ice cream shop 100 feet from the hill. And profit from your carnage for I am too lazy to read 100 pages of people's army formations.

[ArtDrake]

I destroy your ice cream shop with an army of automatons composed of an allotrope of diferrous duckyrodium nitrohydroxide that forms an interlocking array of truncated icosahedrons on the molecular level and is stronger than any existing alloy. The downside is, of course, that it is extremely heavy; but my problems are but naught! Duckyrodium, once turned into a superconductor, maintains its electron formation in the same way due to a quantum-mechanistical effect similar to the reason the specific heat of diamond is dependent on its temperature. This means that duckyrodium can serve as a superconducting magnet even at high temperatures, allowing my automatons to repel their component parts from each other in a way that counters the force of gravity. However, due to the fact that the magnetic system is an internal one, and combined with the incredibly high mass of the automatons, they can hardly be knocked over. If they are, they will realign their magnetic fields for maximum lift, pick themselves up, brush themselves off, and keep going.

[Deagonx]

I get into the fetal position. I'm afraid of big words.

[Steelfist]

I, considering possible alternatives to conflict with DucKorp, have reached a conclusion.

I suggest an equal split of the Hill between us, Duckling, and an alliance between corporations.

To members of SteelCo, I have the following announcement:

I hereby declare that Steel Ersatz man is my second-in-command, and Duskling my tertiary subordinate, and appoint him Master of Warfare; he is tasked with coordinating all military efforts on behalf of SteelCo and is given authority over all military assets, to be superseded only by myself.

I, meanwhile, will explore avenues outside reality . . .

[Duskling]

Is it... President Steelfist? You'll be happy to know that the brew is being mass-produced as we speak.

[ArtDrake]

The automatons all go on quests to find souls (good luck with that...), and I happily occupy 45,5% of the hill, performing experiments with duckyrodium and finding it quite useful as a salt that become highly caustic when in solution...

Just in case.

I accept.