A man once entered a pun contest. He submitted ten puns, hoping to at least win a single prize, but sadly, no pun in ten did.
A doctor walked into a bar and ordered a hazelnut daiquiri.
The next day, he walked into the bar and ordered another hazelnut daiquiri.
He became a regular and ordered the same drink every day, coming at the same time. Eventually, the bartender started preparing his drink before he arrived and it was always waiting on the counter when the doctor got there.
Once, the bartender lost track of time and realized he was out of hazelnuts. He looked around, but all he could find was hickory nuts. He threw together the drink and hoped the doctor wouldn't notice.
The doctor came in right on time, took a single sip, and said "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!"
"No," said the bartender. (Wait for it...)
"It's a hickory daiquiri, doc."
Post your lamest puns here!