Corrupt a Wish Foundation

[ArtDrake]

Granted. I bribe the wish-corruption-genie with fifty grand and three tickets to Henry V parts 1 and 2, and in return he doesn't corrupt my wish.

I wish for the genie to take my bribe and be corrupt himself.

[bugfartboy]

Granted. But as you can't further corrupt something already completely corrupted, 1=0.

I wish for better logic than 1=0.

[ArtDrake]

Granted. 1=0.5

I wish for a bigger improvement than that.

[Ertxiem]

Wish granted. 2 < 1.

Proof:
Assume: a < b.
Then, adding a to both sides, we get: 2a < a + b.
Subtracting 2b from both sides, we obtain: 2a - 2b < a - b.
Using the distributive property: 2 (a - b) < 1 (a < b).
Therefore, if we divide both sides by (a - b), we will prove that 2 < 1.

I wish that all of you like the proof presented above.

(Great! While I was writing this post Duckling replied but I could still use what I've written without changing a single character... except this parenthesis! :P )

[bugfartboy]

Granted. But the overall burden of proof is too great, and the website collapses under strain of illogical logic.

I wish for faster typing speed.

[Ertxiem]

Wish granted. You now can type twice as faster but your typos now appear every other letter, making what you type unintelligible.

I wish I knew how to prove that triangles don't exist.

[ArtDrake]

Granted. However, you remember that in your earlier proof, you failed to invert the inequality after dividing both sides by a negative value.

I wish triangles existed again.

[bugfartboy]

Granted. They exist inside your mind. Quite literally in fact.

I wish for speed.

[Ertxiem]

Wish granted. You now are able to move so fast that the heat generated by the friction of the air incinerates you on your next movement... you'd better. Be. Very. Still!

I wish you wanted me to prove that in any set of billiard balls, all balls have the same colour.

(I think that proving that 2 < 1 is funnier than proving that 2 = 1.)

[bugfartboy]

Granted. But seeing as you only wanted me to want you to prove that in any set of billiard balls, all balls have the same color, the genie ignores your wish.

I wish for a more logical corruption. Something along the lines of 2 gtr 1

[ArtDrake]

I wish I knew what gtr meant. Seeing as I don't, you don't get your wish. Haha.

[bugfartboy]

Granted. We all cease to exist, and the thread dies.

(gtr is the greater than operator in DOS.) Example:

Code Select Expand

if %variablex% gtr %variabley% goto %variablez%

I wish for more intense coding abilities.

[Kaseke]

Granted. You create your own code, which can only be used to make viruses, which travel through internet, and are unstoppable because no firewall can block them since they are unseen. It eats all data off everybodys computers in just a few nights and after that, no one used the internet ever again.

I wish that my computer didn't get infected.

[ArtDrake]

Granted. You make your own .ATH code that explodes your computer and puts a curse on you and everyone you know.

[bugfartboy]

Granted. Once more nothingness, and thread abandonment.

I wish for fewer viruses.