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King of the hill

Started by Mopman, February 04, 2010, 02:43:06 PM

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ArtDrake

In the mean time, the automatons have found their souls, allowing them to be more than a pile of caustic metal (yes; I said "caustic metal." I plead the third.) and pursue their hopes an desires.

Incidentally, they happen to have a von Neumann procedure installed in them.

Equally incidentally, they happen to be into family-building.

Ertxiem

I call some very nice people in white to take you to a very nice home (you know that it's called a mental institution because you are very intelligent people). (Who would believe that anyone can have such powers, automatons and all the other things!)

After they take you, I calmly climb the hill and claim: my hill.
Ert, the Dead Cow.
With 2 small Mandelbrot sets as the spots.

Steelfist

I stab Ert in his game-ruining stomach with an Ulgo knife, turning his abdomen into a bloody, wrecked excuse for a torso. Then I break Duckling out of the mental institution and dispel the fake reality that Ert's psuedo doctors have created. While Duckling may be a threat, I consider it a matter of duty to undo the evils of an 'It's not real; I win' post. Seriously, Ert, the only contribution I have seen from you in this topic in a long time is a variation on the previous post. It's not imaginative, clever or funny, just irritating. Stop it.

In response to the possible threat of the self-replicating automatons, I produce a form of magically fueled nanobot, with a similar replicating ability (But in the absence of useable material they can use magic to replicate themselves). These nanobots can turn semi-corporeal, convert matter into energy (and magic), and use magic to effect the environment. They are particularly destructive a gainst caustic materials, being able to absorb and utilise them to detroy other matter. I engineer a hive mind intelligence to controll them, then establish a direct neural uplink to the intelligence. It's only mental limitation is that it cannot destroy or otherwise damage my followers or my cause. That restiction dies with me - a little insurance; I die, it destroys the universe, then uses magical energy gathered to tear open a portal to another universe, and repeats; ultimately destroying everything.

Incidentally, your automatons may not be completely loyal anymore - if they have hopes, dreams and desires they may pursue them over your purpose, and families leave them open to emotional exploitation.

ArtDrake

Ja? Well, I'm going to have to reanimate Ert, and fuse his sliced tissue with a nanobot + aerosol spray. Sorry, but he's one of my favorite mods (out of one :)), and his crimes haven't been that egregious.

Secondly, I fuse some hydroastatic acid to the nanobots (by hijacking the particle accerlerator at CERN) and install that component in their modular von Neumann core. Now, they react violently in the presence of caustic substances. Sorry, but I can't have you sucking the massive energy out of my automatons.

Next, I research some upgrades, including Tesla boomerangs (they're awesome), a way to give helium atoms negative velocity so that a balloon containing them has positive pressure but near zero mass, making blimps once again an efficient method of reaching the upper atmosphere.

Zackirus

My Mounties still stationed in Timeline A inform me that another hill has come into existence. I then warp back and take another one percent of the hill so that I have the final part. I travell back to my own timeline and using my own hands combine all the hills in my collection to a super hill.

I have two options:

1.) Take over the Universe
2.) Distrubute The Hill Among The Peoples

I go with option two and use the hill's power to bring peace to my world. The hill stops all War, all Poverty, all Hatered and makes the World into a beautiful place where I, a simple man, take a glass of Maple Syrup, and raise it to the new Utopia that the hill has created.
If The World Was A Bit More Like Canada, Then We Would Have A Great World, And Hockey 24/7

- Lord Canada

Ertxiem

I come to Zackrius and ask him for a glass of Maple Syrup. I offer pancakes to everyone.
Ert, the Dead Cow.
With 2 small Mandelbrot sets as the spots.

ArtDrake

I'd like a double maple, with a lemon, on the rocks. :D

Zackirus

After getting Duckling and Ert their drinks, and distributing the pancakes. I send an invite to all other people fighting to simply make peace and enjoy the times at my house, not to mention the maple syrup ;)
If The World Was A Bit More Like Canada, Then We Would Have A Great World, And Hockey 24/7

- Lord Canada

Steelfist

I take the view that Lord Canada's peacemongering, while a good thing, quite ruins my fun. Thus, I, Steelfist, retreat to my alternate universe fortress. There, I manufacture an alternate syrup with magic (Which I call Ultimaple Syrup), allowing a large amount of the delicious substance (Which induces an instant addiction and desire for more into those who consume it) into circulation in your 'Utopia', for free. It becomes incredibly popular and quickly becomes a staple, relapcing maple syrup in the world. It is at this point that I restrict the export, and the remaining Ultimaple syrup is quickly consumed. The world, suddenly divided once more into upper classes, possessing Ultimaple Syrup, and the lower classes, which do not, quickly breaks down into conflict. This leads to a massive, global, apocalyptic civil war. Nuclear weapons, long disused, are suddenly activated, and long forgotten doomsday weapons come into play, all fighting over the last reserves of Ultimaple Syrup.

It is at this point that I steal the Hill from the distracted populace by offering Ultimaple Syrup in exchange for it, and I quickly gather all of it and combine it, rescuing it from incipient doom by removing myself into my fortress universe. Then, having achieved my goal, I release large amounts of the syrup into circulation, and the world draws back from the brink. The Syrup cannot be recreated without my help, as it is composed of pure magic. As I control the world supply, the world eventually falls under my sway, and I rule it benevolently, returning the world to it's Utopian state (With ultimaple syrup as it's Soma).

All hail Steelfist, possessor of the Hill! MY HILL!

I offer peace to all - merely do not conflict my interests, or the interests of the Steel Cult.

Duskling

#1539
I come to the peace meeting out of respect for Lord Canada and because President Steelfist decided to show up. I listen carefully and respond when asked to, but politely decline the maple syrup when offered due to my horrible allergy. I then go back to the Neptunian moon Proteus (My personal base of operations) and assume my role somewhere under (Though I'm not sure exactly where) below President Steelfist.

ArtDrake

I take it upon myself to go into Mapliholics M'anonymous (MM -- they added the second M so it would alliterate), and become unaddicted.

Then, I distribute endorphin blockers throughout the entire water supply, unaddicting the world and gaining the support of crucial world leaders.

Now, I use an elite squadron of automatons to sneak into your alternate universe and, with the help of an ASHPD and some mitotic Tesla boomerangs (did I mention having installed rapid-fire temporal ricochet drives in them? I guess not), I clear rooms of your evil fortress at a time, only to discover that you've left your otheruniversly stronghold for Earth (which I should have realized by reading the previous post more carefully), and have to turn around and go back.

Once on Earth, I pose as an Occupy Pennsylvania Avenue group with my duckyrodium caustic automatons; as soon as someone tries to arrest us, they're scalded by the caustic metal ducks, while pepper spray has no effect. Please also note the kinetic energy weapon deflector shield.

Consider Pennsylvania Avenue occupied. And I'm kind of wondering where you are, Steelfist, if not at the White House.

Duskling

#1541
With all these events going on all at once, it seems as though I am in a very disadvantageous position, being a mere mortal. Therefor, though an incredibly risky move, I declare Proteus's independence from Steelco/The Steel Empire. I set up an anti-arcane shield that also prevents things that are not in my current dimension to slip past it. My men, the former Steelco. elite caste and infantry that chose to side with me (A surprisingly large portion- 82%, as a matter of fact, even with the risk of deserting the empire and the benefits of remaining loyal to it), are armed with weapons that my scientists have developed, most of which are anti-matter weapons (The antimatter is kept in stasis until it first impacts with a target, so as to avoid an explosion within the weapon itself, a bitter lesson learned during testing stages). However, I have left a good portion of weaponry from before independence to President Steel, should he need it- unlikely.

ArtDrake

A small group of automatons with diplomacy drives installed goes off in the direction of Proteus. Don't worry; these automatons are made using a pH-neutral metal, and their von Neumann drives are disabled.

Duskling

The people of Proteus are neutral, and will spread to Neptune itself when the technology to survive its horrible storms presents itself. In the meantime, all may take refuge within our colonies, should the need arise, under the condition that no battles shall break out over, on, or near the colonies. Please understand that, compared to everyone else, we are fairly insignificant, and we cannot defend ourselves against an onslaught of trans-universal beings or uber automatons.

We will, however listen to deals, accept supplies, and return the favor once we have something that the all-powerful Hill Powers may consider useful.

Steelfist

Treachery! Admittedly, not aggressive treachery, but desertion in my hour of need nevertheless.

Note that in the time taken for you to distribute the endorphin blockers, the world has nevertheless become accustomed to my benevolent rule. The taste, in any case, creates a pschological addiction.

I am, in fact, residing within England, my homeland. Ah - don't you just love rain? I have constructed a large modern (Magically protected) castle. Made of a super dense steel created and maintaned with magic. Basically indestructable, it conforms to my every will. Including that of becoming a battle fortress. I'm just mentioning this; the universe you cleared was one of many, and when I say 'Fortress Universe', I mean that it cannot be broken into without unbelievable power. Nevertheless, my Power universe still exists, the main source of my magical energy, portected by a thousand -fold what the fortress universes were protected by, and guarded by me (essentially, I have deposited a portion of myself there, and can see and channel power through both forms). Don't even try.

I use my somewhat less elite but nevertheless adequate soldiers (Recruited from a favorable populace and armed with ) to seal off the water supply, preventing the distibution of the addiction blockers. This, along with a slight change in recipe (Three times the taste, twice the addictivity!) the world is quickly readdicted. The recipe has another effect, too. It contains nanobots (Non-contaminated clones of my previous nanobots) that remain in the consumers system, fighting anti addiction medication, disease, and cancer (Increasing my popularity - I just cured cancer!), in addition to reconstructing dead flesh and altering the physiological structure, turning all my subjects into powerful weapons. I, obviously, guard this technology closely.

I experiment with alternate  beings within another timeline, recreating my Steel Knights, then sending them to guard both of your area of occupation (Automatons are destroyed on sight, Proteus employees merely watched closely). Note, Duckling, that the Steel Knights, if you have forgotten, are exeedingly vicious weaker versions of myself, totally loyal, battle hardened by their harsh lives and multiple vicious campaigns. Your automatons, despite their numbers, will be crushed if they attempt to advance. It is at this point that I open a rift within your shield, and nanobots, along with nanobot augmented Steel Knights, pour through, crushing your feeble automatons beneath their might of the Steel Empire. The populace harry your retreating forces, and nanobots dismantle all those who resist. I give you one chance - surrender or die!

As for Proteus, I feel that having you as an independent contractor would be beneficial - I offer you  employment as, basically, a security firm - you handle most of my military issues, and I protect you from magical and uber-technological opponents. I propose a Hill share of 75:25, with myself as the main possessor.